Do you like Eastenders?

No, I like Northenders

Do you like Corrie?

No, I like a balti

Do you like Changing Rooms?

No, I like it the way it is.

Do you like David Seaman?

No I like David Landman

Do you like CITV?

No, I like to see BBC

Do you like Sky?

No, I like the sun.

Do you like Milkshake?

No, I like Coke.

Do you like A Date in Hell?

No, I Like A Date in Heaven

Do you enjoy friends?

Yes, but I prefer enemies.

Hockimoo knew

That his Mum knew

That he knew

That she knew

That his name was Hockimoo

But Hockimoo knew

That his Mum knew

That he knew

That his Mum

Was an alien

And then Hockimoo knew

That his Mum

Looked a bit like this:

She had a triangular mouth

Three pink snouts

Grabbing little children

And eating them.

She had six circle eyes

With little men

Jumping out of them

Snake hair and weird fingers

So when she picked things up

Her fangs came out

She had an elephant's head

A kangaroo's legs

A lion's body

And a crocodiles tail.

I told my Mum

That I knew

That she knew

That I was human.

Crispy, cracking, chewy and chompy

HP sauce on chips is gorge

In my house we have chips loads

Pizza and chips go well with

Sausages

HIGH

GIRAFFE

EATING LEAVES

SATURDAY NIGHT

DISCOED ALL NIGHT LONG

Tired, I slumped sleeping on the bed

Sighing out the day,

Yawning out the troubles of the day.

By my face, the warm cat curls and sleeps, tickling,

The shadows dance on the curtains,

And silent sleep tiptoes to my pillow.

Relaxing drifting noises fill the room,

Peaceful owls tu-whit tu-whoo at distant stars

As I slip finally peaceful to snoring sleep.

Midnight explodes with evil nightmares,

Crashing through the window, disturbing, petrifying,

Screaming vampires, blood-sucking eys of sickening dead people

Dark evil mind-blasting monsters screeching

As squeaky geeky bats, hovering,

Laugh at the howling foxes.

I desperate twisting dreams

Creepy pyjamas sweat on the bed of squashed spiders wriggling

I leap into waking,

Scream at the scary shadows

Look for the deadly witches at the window

But no-one comes.

Silence.

The moon shimmers,

The stars shiver.

In the garden a spiky hedgehog shuffles.

In the distance nightclub music blasts.

And silent sleep tiptoes back and carries me off

Once more, to the warm relaxing wonderland

That holds me safe until morning.

Some happy times I won't forget

When Granny died I was very upset

I used to see her every day

But now I can't, 'cause she's gone away

I see her picture in my hand

My perfect grandma

That picture has faded now away

That picture from my head

The vision has faded away

But her heart will always stay

Stay in my soul

I remember the times she came for tea

And when she brought sweets for me

The frame of heart she had was

Too dear and

Too kind

The Gran I had, died for me

Her candle burned out

Her legend will live

Bye bye Granny

From your

Grandson

I went to the supermarket and bought

1 very orange orange

2 cans of stylish hairspray

3 packs of hubabubba bubblegum

4 groovy magazines

5 jumping sausages

6 cans of fizzy lager

7 popping poppa pop-corn

8 lovely cash machines

9 pairs of purple pants

10 pairs of snazzy sunglasses

I love going to the supermarket

I hope next time you join me too.

I went to Dudley Zoo and saw:

1 pink pot-bellied pig

2 slimy slithery scaly snakes

3 giggly googly goats

4 hippy hoppy hedgehogs

5 dirty disgusting ducks

6 tiny tiddling tickling tigers

7 busy bellowing bears

8 kicking kanging kangaroos

9 clever clinging clumping crocodiles

10 enormous eating elephants

That was my trip to Dudley Zoo

I hope next time you will join me too.